( This short story is from the October 2007 issue of Radar magazine. )
by Cory Doctorow
"Give me six lines written by the most honorable of men, and I
will find an excuse in them to hang him." Cardinal Richelieu
"We don't know enough about you." Google CEO Eric Schmidt
Greg landed at San Francisco International Airport at 8 p.m., but
by the time he'd made it to the front of the customs line, it was
after midnight. He'd emerged from first class, brown as a nut,
unshaven, and loose-limbed after a month on the beach in Cabo
(scuba diving three days a week, seducing French college girls the
rest of the time). When he'd left the city a month before, he'd
been a stoop-shouldered, potbellied wreck. Now he was a bronze god,
drawing admiring glances from the stews at the front of the cabin.
Four hours later in the customs line, he'd slid from god back to
man. His slight buzz had worn off, sweat ran down the crack of his
ass, and his shoulders and neck were so tense his upper back felt
like a tennis racket. The batteries on his iPod had long since
died, leaving him with nothing to do except eavesdrop on the
middle-age couple ahead of him.
"The marvels of modern technology," said the woman, shrugging at a
nearby sign: Immigration Powered by Google.
"I thought that didn't start until next month?" The man was
alternately wearing and holding a large sombrero.
Googling at the border. Christ. Greg had vested out of Google six
months before, cashing in his options and "taking some me
time" which turned out to be less rewarding than he'd expected.
What he mostly did over the five months that followed was fix his
friends' PCs, watch daytime TV, and gain 10 pounds, which he blamed
on being at home instead of in the Googleplex, with its
well-appointed 24-hour gym.
He should have seen it coming, of course. The U.S. government had
lavished $15 billion on a program to fingerprint and photograph
visitors at the border, and hadn't caught a single terrorist.
Clearly, the public sector was not equipped to Do Search Right.
The DHS officer had bags under his eyes and squinted at his screen,
prodding at his keyboard with sausage fingers. No wonder it was
taking four hours to get out of the god damned airport.
"Evening," Greg said, handing the man his sweaty passport. The
officer grunted and swiped it, then stared at his screen, tapping.
A lot. He had a little bit of dried food at the corner of his mouth
and his tongue crept out and licked at it.
"Want to tell me about June 1998?"
Greg looked up from his Departures. "I'm sorry?"
"You posted a message to alt.burningman on June 17, 1998, about
your plan to attend a festival. You asked, 'Are shrooms really such
a bad idea?'"
The interrogator in the secondary screening room was an older man,
so skinny he looked like he'd been carved out of wood. His
questions went a lot deeper than shrooms.
"Tell me about your hobbies. Are you into model rocketry?"
"No," Greg said, "No, I'm not." He sensed where this was going.
The man made a note, did some clicking. "You see, I ask because I
see a heavy spike in ads for rocketry supplies showing up alongside
your search results and Google mail."
Greg felt a spasm in his guts. "You're looking at my searches and
e-mail?" He hadn't touched a keyboard in a month, but he knew what
he put into that search bar was likely more revealing than what he
told his shrink.
"Sir, calm down, please. No, I'm not looking at your searches," the
man said in a mocking whine. "That would be unconstitutional. We
see only the ads that show up when you read your mail and do your
searching. I have a brochure explaining it. I'll give it to you
when we're through here."
"But the ads don't mean anything," Greg sputtered. "I get ads for
Ann Coulter ring tones whenever I get e-mail from my friend in
The man nodded. "I understand, sir. And that's just why I'm here
talking to you. Why do you suppose model rocket ads show up so
Greg racked his brain. "Okay, just do this. Search for 'coffee
fanatics.'" He'd been very active in the group, helping them build
out the site for their coffee-of-the-month subscription service.
The blend they were going to launch with was called Jet Fuel. "Jet
Fuel" and "Launch" that would probably make Google barf up some
model rocket ads.
They were in the home stretch when the carved man found the
Halloween photos. They were buried three screens deep in the search
results for "Greg Lupinski."
"It was a Gulf War-themed party," he said. "In the Castro."
"And you're dressed as...?"
"A suicide bomber," he replied sheepishly. Just saying the words
made him wince.
"Come with me, Mr. Lupinski," the man said.
By the time he was released, it was past 3 a.m. His suitcases stood
forlornly by the baggage carousel. He picked them up and saw they
had been opened and carelessly closed. Clothes stuck out from
around the edges.
When he returned home, he discovered that all of his fake
pre-Columbian statues had been broken, and his brand-new white
cotton Mexican shirt had an ominous boot print in the middle of it.
His clothes no longer smelled of Mexico. They smelled like airport.
He wasn't going to sleep. No way. He needed to talk about this.
There was only one person who would get it. Luckily, she was
usually awake around this hour.
Maya had started working at Google two years after Greg had. It was
she who'd convinced him to go to Mexico after he cashed out:
Anywhere, she'd said, that he could reboot his existence.
Maya had two giant chocolate labs and a very, very patient
girlfriend named Laurie who'd put up with anything except being
dragged around Dolores Park at 6 a.m. by 350 pounds of drooling
Maya reached for her Mace as Greg jogged toward her, then did a
double take and threw her arms open, dropping the leashes and
trapping them under her sneaker. "Where's the rest of you? Dude,
you look hot!"
He hugged her back, suddenly conscious of the way he smelled after
a night of invasive Googling. "Maya," he said, "what do you know
about Google and the DHS?"
She stiffened as soon as he asked the question. One of the dogs
began to whine. She looked around, then nodded up at the tennis
courts. "Top of the light pole there; don't look," she said.
"That's one of our muni WiFi access points. Wide-angle webcam. Face
away from it when you talk."
In the grand scheme of things, it hadn't cost Google much to wire
the city with webcams. Especially when measured against the ability
to serve ads to people based on where they were sitting. Greg
hadn't paid much attention when the cameras on all those access
points went public there'd been a day's worth of blogstorm while
people played with the new all-seeing toy, zooming in on various
prostitute cruising areas, but after a while the excitement blew
Feeling silly, Greg mumbled, "You're joking."
"Come with me," she said, turning away from the pole.
The dogs weren't happy about cutting their walk short, and
expressed their displeasure in the kitchen as Maya made coffee.
"We brokered a compromise with the DHS," she said, reaching for the
milk. "They agreed to stop fishing through our search records, and
we agreed to let them see what ads got displayed for users."
Greg felt sick. "Why? Don't tell me Yahoo was doing it already..."
"No, no. Well, yes. Sure. Yahoo was doing it. But that wasn't the
reason Google went along. You know, Republicans hate Google. We're
overwhelmingly registered Democratic, so we're doing what we can to
make peace with them before they clobber us. This isn't
P.I.I." Personally Identifying Information, the toxic smog of the
information age "It's just metadata. So it's only slightly evil."
"Why all the intrigue, then?"
Maya sighed and hugged the lab that was butting her knee with its
huge head. "The spooks are like lice. They get everywhere. They
show up at our meetings. It's like being in some Soviet ministry.
And the security clearance we're divided into these two camps: the
cleared and the suspect. We all know who isn't cleared, but no one
knows why. I'm cleared. Lucky for me, being a dyke no longer
disqualifies you. No cleared person would deign to eat lunch with
Greg felt very tired. "So I guess I'm lucky I got out of the
airport alive. I might have ended up 'disappeared' if it had gone
Maya stared at him intently. He waited for an answer.
"I'm about to tell you something, but you can't ever repeat it,
"Um...you're not in a terrorist cell, are you?
"Nothing so simple. Here's the deal: Airport DHS scrutiny is a
gating function. It lets the spooks narrow down their search
criteria. Once you get pulled aside for secondary at the border,
you become a 'person of interest' and they never, ever let up.
They'll scan webcams for your face and gait. Read your mail.
Monitor your searches."
"I thought you said the courts wouldn't let them..."
"The courts won't let them indiscriminately Google you. But after
you're in the system, it becomes a selective search. All legal. And
once they start Googling you, they always find something. All your
data is fed into a big hopper that checks for 'suspicious
patterns,' using deviation from statistical norms to nail you."
Greg felt like he was going to throw up. "How the hell did this
happen? Google was a good place. 'Don't be evil,' right?" That was
the corporate motto, and for Greg, it had been a huge part of why
he'd taken his computer science Ph.D. from Stanford directly to
Maya replied with a hard-edged laugh. "Don't be evil? Come on,
Greg. Our lobbying group is that same bunch of crypto-fascists that
tried to Swift-Boat Kerry. We popped our evil cherry a long time
They were quiet for a minute.
"It started in China," she went on, finally. "Once we moved our
servers onto the mainland, they went under Chinese jurisdiction."
Greg sighed. He knew Google's reach all too well: Every time you
visited a page with Google ads on it, or used Google maps or Google
mail even if you sent mail to a Gmail account the company
diligently collected your info. Recently, the site's
search-optimization software had begun using the data to tailor Web
searches to individual users. It proved to be a revolutionary tool
for advertisers. An authoritarian government would have other
purposes in mind.
"They were using us to build profiles of people," she went on.
"When they had someone they wanted to arrest, they'd come to us and
find a reason to bust them. There's hardly anything you can do on
the Net that isn't illegal in China."
Greg shook his head. "Why did they have to put the servers in
"The government said they'd block us otherwise. And Yahoo was
there." They both made faces. Somewhere along the way, employees at
Google had become obsessed with Yahoo, more concerned with what the
competition was doing than how their own company was performing.
"So we did it. But a lot of us didn't like the idea."
Maya sipped her coffee and lowered her voice. One of her dogs
sniffed insistently under Greg's chair.
"Almost immediately, the Chinese asked us to start censoring search
results," Maya said. "Google agreed. The company line was
hilarious: 'We're not doing evil we're giving consumers access to a
better search tool! If we showed them search results they couldn't
get to, that would just frustrate them. It would be a bad user
"Now what?" Greg pushed a dog away from him. Maya looked hurt.
"Now you're a person of interest, Greg.
You're Googlestalked. Now you live your life with someone
constantly looking over your shoulder. You know the mission
statement, right? 'Organize the World's Information.' Everything.
Give it five years, we'll know how many turds were in the bowl
before you flushed. Combine that with automated suspicion of anyone
who matches a statistical picture of a bad guy and you're "
"Totally." She nodded.
Maya took both labs down the hall to the bedroom. He heard a
muffled argument with her girlfriend, and she came back alone.
"I can fix this," she said in an urgent whisper. "After the Chinese
started rounding up people, my podmates and I made it our 20
percent project to fuck with them." (Among Google's business
innovations was a rule that required every employee to devote 20
percent of his or her time to high-minded pet projects.) "We call
it the Googlecleaner. It goes deep into the database and
statistically normalizes you. Your searches, your Gmail histograms,
your browsing patterns. All of it. Greg, I can Googleclean you.
It's the only way."
"I don't want you to get into trouble."
She shook her head. "I'm already doomed. Every day since I built
the damn thing has been borrowed time now it's just a matter of
waiting for someone to point out my expertise and history to the
DHS and, oh, I don't know. Whatever it is they do to people like me
in the war on abstract nouns."
Greg remembered the airport. The search. His shirt, the boot print
in the middle of it.
"Do it," he said.
The Googlecleaner worked wonders. Greg could tell by the ads that
popped up alongside his searches, ads clearly meant for someone
else: Intelligent Design Facts, Online Seminary Degree, Terror Free
Tomorrow, Porn Blocker Software, the Homosexual Agenda, Cheap Toby
Keith Tickets. This was Maya's program at work. Clearly Google's
new personalized search had him pegged as someone else entirely, a
God-fearing right winger with a thing for hat acts.
Which was fine by him.
Then he clicked on his address book, and found that half of his
contacts were missing. His Gmail in-box was hollowed out like a
termite-ridden stump. His Orkut profile, normalized. His calendar,
family photos, bookmarks: all empty. He hadn't quite realized
before how much of him had migrated onto the Web and worked its way
into Google's server farms his entire online identity. Maya had
scrubbed him to a high gloss; he'd become the invisible man.
Greg sleepily mashed the keys on the laptop next to his bed,
bringing the screen to life. He squinted at the flashing toolbar
clock: 4:13 a.m.! Christ, who was pounding on his door at this
He shouted, "Coming!" in a muzzy voice and pulled on a robe and
slippers. He shuffled down the hallway, turning on lights as he
went. At the door, he squinted through the peephole to find Maya
staring glumly back at him.
He undid the chains and dead bolt and yanked the door open. Maya
rushed in past him, followed by the dogs and her girlfriend.
She was sheened in sweat, her usually combed hair clinging in
clumps to her forehead. She rubbed at her eyes, which were red and
"Pack a bag," she croaked hoarsely.
She took him by the shoulders. "Do it," she said.
"Where do you want to...?"
"Mexico, probably. Don't know yet. Pack, dammit." She pushed past
him into his bedroom and started yanking open drawers.
"Maya," he said sharply, "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me
what's going on."
She glared at him and pushed her hair away from her face. "The
Googlecleaner lives. After I cleaned you, I shut it down and walked
away. It was too dangerous to use anymore. But it's still set to
send me e-mail confirmations whenever it runs. Someone's used it
six times to scrub three very specific accounts all of which happen
to belong to members of the Senate Commerce Committee up for
"Googlers are blackwashing senators?"
"Not Googlers. This is coming from off-site. The IP block is
registered in D.C. And the IPs are all used by Gmail users. Guess
who the accounts belong to?"
"You spied on Gmail accounts?"
"Okay. Yes. I did look through their e-mail. Everyone does it, now
and again, and for a lot worse reasons than I did. But check it
out turns out all this activity is being directed by our lobbying
firm. Just doing their job, defending the company's interests."
Greg felt his pulse beating in his temples. "We should tell
"It won't do any good. They know everything about us. They can see
every search. Every e-mail. Every time we've been caught on the
webcams. Who is in our social network...did you know if you have 15
Orkut buddies, it's statistically certain that you're no more than
three steps to someone who's contributed money to a 'terrorist'
cause? Remember the airport? You'll be in for a lot more of that."
"Maya," Greg said, getting his bearings. "Isn't heading to Mexico
overreacting? Just quit. We can do a start-up or something. This is
"They came to see me today," she said. "Two of the political
officers from DHS. They didn't leave for hours. And they asked me a
lot of very heavy questions."
"About the Googlecleaner?"
"About my friends and family. My search history. My personal
"They were sending a message to me. They're watching every click
and every search. It's time to go. Time to get out of range."
"There's a Google office in Mexico, you know."
"We've got to go," she said, firmly.
"Laurie, what do you think of this?" Greg asked.
Laurie thumped the dogs between the shoulders. "My parents left
East Germany in '65. They used to tell me about the Stasi. The
secret police would put everything about you in your file, if you
told an unpatriotic joke, whatever. Whether they meant it or not,
what Google has created is no different."
"Greg, are you coming?"
He looked at the dogs and shook his head. "I've got some pesos left
over," he said. "You take them. Be careful, okay?"
Maya looked like she was going to slug him. Softening, she gave him
a ferocious hug.
"Be careful, yourself," she whispered in his ear.
They came for him a week later. At home, in the middle of the
night, just as he'd imagined they would.
Two men arrived on his doorstep shortly after 2 a.m. One stood
silently by the door. The other was a smiler, short and rumpled, in
a sport coat with a stain on one lapel and an American flag on the
other. "Greg Lupinski, we have reason to believe you're in
violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act," he said, by way of
introduction. "Specifically, exceeding authorized access, and by
means of such conduct having obtained information. Ten years for a
first offense. Turns out that what you and your friend did to your
Google records qualifies as a felony. And oh, what will come out in
the trial...all the stuff you whitewashed out of your profile, for
Greg had played this scene in his head for a week. He'd planned all
kinds of brave things to say. It had given him something to do
while he waited to hear from Maya. She never called.
"I'd like to get in touch with a lawyer," is all he mustered.
"You can do that," the small man said. "But maybe we can come to a
Greg found his voice. "I'd like to see your badge," he stammered.
The man's basset-hound face lit up as he let out a bemused chuckle.
"Buddy, I'm not a cop," he replied. "I'm a consultant. Google hired
me my firm represents their interests in Washington to build
relationships. Of course, we wouldn't get the police involved
without talking to you first. You're part of the family. Actually,
there's an offer I'd like to make."
Greg turned to the coffeemaker, dumped the old filter.
"I'll go to the press," he said.
The man nodded as if thinking it over. "Well, sure. You could walk
into the Chronicle's office in the morning and spill everything.
They'd look for a confirming source. They won't find one. And when
they try searching for it, we'll find them. So, buddy, why don't
you hear me out, okay? I'm in the win-win business. I'm very good
at it." He paused. "By the way, those are excellent beans, but you
want to give them a little rinse first? Takes some of the
bitterness out and brings up the oils. Here, pass me a colander?"
Greg watched as the man silently took off his jacket and hung it
over a kitchen chair, then undid his cuffs and carefully rolled
them up, slipping a cheap digital watch into his pocket. He poured
the beans out of the grinder and into Greg's colander, and rinsed
them in the sink.
He was a little pudgy and very pale, with the social grace of an
electrical engineer. He seemed like a real Googler, actually,
obsessed with the minutiae. He knew his way around a coffee
"We're drafting a team for Building 49..."
"There is no Building 49," Greg said automatically.
"Of course," the guy said, flashing a tight smile. "There's no
Building 49. But we're putting together a team to revamp the
Googlecleaner. Maya's code wasn't very efficient, you know. It's
full of bugs. We need an upgrade. You'd be the right guy, and it
wouldn't matter what you knew if you were back inside."
"Unbelievable," Greg said, laughing. "If you think I'm going to
help you smear political candidates in exchange for favors, you're
crazier than I thought."
"Greg," the man said, "we're not smearing anyone. We're just going
to clean things up a bit. For some select people. You know what I
mean? Everyone's Google profile is a little scary under close
inspection. Close inspection is the order of the day in politics.
Standing for office is like a public colonoscopy." He loaded the
cafetière and depressed the plunger, his face screwed up in solemn
concentration. Greg retrieved two coffee cups Google mugs, of
course and passed them over.
"We're going to do for our friends what Maya did for you. Just a
little cleanup. All we want to do is preserve their privacy. That's
Greg sipped his coffee. "What happens to the candidates you don't
"Yeah," the guy said, flashing Greg a weak grin. "Yeah, you're
right. It'll be kind of tough for them." He searched the inside
pocket of his jacket and produced several folded sheets of paper.
He smoothed out the pages and put them on the table. "Here's one of
the good guys who needs our help." It was a printout of a search
history belonging to a candidate whose campaign Greg had
contributed to in the past three elections.
"Fella gets back to his hotel room after a brutal day of
campaigning door to door, fires up his laptop, and types 'hot
asses' into his search bar. Big deal, right? The way we see it, for
that to disqualify a good man from continuing to serve his country
is just un-American."
Greg nodded slowly.
"So you'll help the guy out?" the man asked.
"Good. There's one more thing. We need you to help us find Maya.
She didn't understand our goals at all, and now she seems to have
flown the coop. Once she hears us out, I have no doubt she'll come
He glanced at the candidate's search history.
"I guess she might," Greg replied.
The new Congress took 11 working days to pass the Securing and
Enumerating America's Communications and Hypertext Act, which
authorized the DHS and NSA to outsource up to 80 percent of
intelligence and analysis work to private contractors.
Theoretically, the contracts were open to competitive bidding, but
within the secure confines of Google's Building 49, there was no
question of who would win. If Google had spent $15 billion on a
program to catch bad guys at the border, you can bet they would
have caught them governments just aren't equipped to Do Search
The next morning Greg scrutinized himself carefully as he shaved
(the security minders didn't like hacker stubble and weren't shy
about telling him so), realizing that today was his first day as a
de facto intelligence agent for the U.S. government. How bad would
it be? Wasn't it better to have Google doing this stuff than some
ham-fisted DHS desk jockey?
By the time he parked at the Googleplex, among the hybrid cars and
bulging bike racks, he had convinced himself. He was mulling over
which organic smoothie to order at the canteen when his key card
failed to open the door to Building 49. The red LED flashed dumbly
every time he swiped his card. Any other building, and there'd be
someone to tailgate on, people trickling in and out all day. But
the Googlers in 49 only emerged for meals, and sometimes not even
Swipe, swipe, swipe. Suddenly he heard a voice at his side.
"Greg, can I see you, please?"
The rumpled man put an arm around his shoulders, and Greg smelled
his citrusy aftershave. It smelled like what his divemaster in Baja
had worn when they went out to the bars in the evening. Greg
couldn't remember his name. Juan Carlos? Juan Luis?
The man's arm around his shoulders was firm, steering him away from
the door, out onto the immaculate lawn, past the herb garden
outside the kitchen. "We're giving you a couple of days off," he
Greg felt a sudden stab of anxiety. "Why?" Had he done something
wrong? Was he going to jail?
"It's Maya." The man turned him around, met his eyes with his
bottomless gaze. "She killed herself. In Guatemala. I'm sorry,
Greg seemed to hurtle away, to a place miles above, a Google Earth
view of the Googleplex, where he looked down on himself and the
rumpled man as a pair of dots, two pixels, tiny and insignificant.
He willed himself to tear at his hair, to drop to his knees and
From a long way away, he heard himself say, "I don't need any time
off. I'm okay."
From a long way away, he heard the rumpled man insist.
The argument persisted for a long time, and then the two pixels
moved into Building 49, and the door swung shut behind them.
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